Thursday, June 23, 2011

Get Yo Drank on to Get Yo Freak On...

I recently read an article that said 1 in 20 women has NEVER had sex sober because of body confidence issues.

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What??? Never???  Now I have had some drunken sexual experiences and they can be quite fun. It does relax you some if you are nervous, and definitely tends to lead to lesser inhibitions; but to be intoxicated every time you have sex? Sometimes fucking while drunk (from this point referred to as F.W.D.) can be a little too much though. All that hopping around, bouncing, shaking, rocking, biting, and choking (too much???) with a belly full of vomit mix isn't always a good thing. I just wonder if you have to rile yourself up and psych yourself out to do it, doesn't that mean you probably shouldn’t be doing it? Is the alcohol just shutting up that little bitch inside our head? I know on most days I want to wrap her up in duct tape and throw her in a shallow grave. But that bitch is in there for a reason right?

The article also explains that women F.W.D. to suppress body confidence issues. I mean if the guy is in bed with you and his penis is erect, doesn't that mean he is attracted to you or at least your nether-regions?  And what happened to dimming the lights?  Why you gotta get shit-faced? If anything, get him shit-faced. Doesn't that make more sense?  Most importantly, how is a woman going to let someone else's view of her control what she sees in the mirror? What did Kat Williams say? "BITCH it's called SELF ESTEEM! It's the esteem of ya Mutha Fuckin Self Bitch... How did I fuck up how YOU feel about YOU ? ...Simple Bitch!" 

All I know is that I may not look like a model, I may have wrinkles that aren't even on my face, and I may have a stretch mark or 7, but GOT DAMMIT, I am sexy and no one can tell me that I'm not. There is something about the female form that everyone can appreciate. While some like women smaller some like them larger, if you have tits, an ass, and something to put a dick in, there is a man out there for you!  Find the right man instead of finding the right combination of courage and alcohol. Men love confidence (as long as your head can still fit in the door) and if you are so self conscious put the damn drink down and pick up some weights or do a sit up!

I have to admit, I am what you would call sexually liberated. I like all kinds of sex all times of day, especially in the morning. I can't be getting all intoxicated before work or right before I take my kids to daycare. I'd rather go to work panting, with a slight limp, and matted hair than breathing the smell of Crown Royal in a co-worker's face. So before you F.W.D. think about what the hell you are doing and why you are doing it. If it is to cover up some reality or make you feel like a porn star, then maybe you should see a therapist, or even simpler, just join a gym, and watch a couple of pornos.

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