Saturday, November 23, 2013

Zero Fucks Were Given on This Day

I like to shake things up a bit.  When I was a kid, my parents would take me to Red Lobster. I used to irritate them and order chicken.  They were all, "But we're at Red Lobster, order seafood."  I was all, "But I like chicken....and Cheddar Bay Biscuits."  I like to break traditions; walk the unbeaten path. Not because I am insensitive to cultural norms. I do it because I've learned if you always do the same thing, you will never do anything different. Simple as that.  Who says you have to be a slutty nurse on Halloween?  Why not be Joan of Arc or something? Who says you have to eat turkey on Thanksgiving?  "Jesus man, it's the Day of Thanks! Try some of this leg of lamb," said no one ever. But the point is, you may love a lamb's juicy slow roasted legs and not even know it. 

I'm writing today because I find people are so surprised or irritated, that me, a relatively normal black woman, is in a relationship with a white man.  I'm not a traitor, I don't hate myself, and I haven't given up on black men. I just found a really good white one. 

 I love white guys. I love black ones too. Why limit yourself? Maybe on my Thanksgiving, there will be turkey and leg of lamb. Shit, call me greedy. One thing I am, is unmoved by your expectations of what you think I should be doing. 

 I know some of you are wondering, "White dudes?  Well don't they have small penises?  But, they can't dance...or jump!"  I have to ask my readers more general questions: Don't some men just have small ass penises regardless of race? Aren't some men just too cool to dance? I know it's rare, but don't some men just dislike sports? I have to admit I have seen many different penises of many different nationalities and ethnicities and I have been pleasantly surprised and mortified prior to and throughout several encounters.  You ever been with a man with a size 14 shoe and the smallest cock you've ever seen? Maybe some of you have dated a guy who wore size 5 in boys, was only 5'6", and his shit hung all the way down to his kneecap?  The thing is, you never know. But, the worse thing you could do is exclude yourself from a dwindling pool of available single men for fear that they won't fit your gaping hole of a vagina.  The best sex I have ever had was with someone outside of my race. I don't think the first criteria when considering a partner is the color of their skin. The most important question we should be asking ourselves is, "Can he fuck?" Okay, maybe there are a few other important questions, but that one is near the top of my list.

There are so many things wrong with people in general: douchebaggery, whoredom, laziness, selfishness, small penises.... schizoaffective disorder...I think people should just be happy I found a man who makes me happy and doesn't foil his windows to keep out probes sent by government funded aliens that read his mind. If you aren't happy for me just know, I honestly don't give a fuck.

Swirl on.







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